What if you were right the first time?

I'm a fool for change; as in I crave it. 
People here are outrageous. I'm in the middle of kicking up a storm of worries in my drum dance of insanity; the smoke signals won't stop. I've spun so much there aren't many straight lines anymore but the tilting is somewhat amusing. Perspective. Is a joke actually and I think I'll just wait in hiding until it shows itself. 'What were you doing curled up under the bed all this time?' and two answers are waiting and perspective. That's a real question, but you don't need to say anything either because I realize you're almost as clueless as I. Everything's going on around me and while I'm taking full part in my own way, it seems to pass me by nonetheless. It's a mystery whether you're asleep or awake but that doesn't stop them from talking to you and asking you questions you're not ready to answer. Of course, we can be truthful but for curiosity's sake lets make up the most ridiculous story and see how long they'll take our snide teasing. You still have not woken. But listen carefully to what I am looking for. Something else. That's it, it's so simple. You see, I know exactly what I want but it's a predicament to obtain the thing because it keeps shifting weight on me from left to right leg. Did you know Dutch is 53 % similar to English? Who gives, it sounds ridiculous. 
That's it. The thing I'm looking for I mean. 
Something else. That's when I'll be satisfied, thus: never. 
When I'm done swimming in blissful ignorance and intoxicating whatevers, I'll save myself by kicking ass. I am mercenary. You are a bomb shell and a fundamentalist and you are done. 


"Je n'ai alors rien su comprendre ! J'aurais dû la juger sur les actes et non sur les mots. Elle m'embaumait et m'éclairait. Je n'aurais jamais dû m'enfuir ! J'aurais dû deviner sa tendresse derrière ses pauvres ruses. Les fleurs sont si contradictoires ! Mais j'étais trop jeune pour savoir l'aimer." - Le Petit Prince


'You're young, what's the hurry of love? It's all a big mess.' 


This is the most mundane and tedious thing I've ever experienced in my life.
I think you're insane though. And a nuisance, ultimately.  
Plus other things.