There is gold. Gold hidden under the unattractive and disappointing exterior that makes so many look away. Learning what riches can come from giving this experience a chance has reminded me of a young girl who was thrown from loneliness into a all-accepting love. The misfits of the world that reject the moulds of 'typical' end up at this outlet of creativity and environment of acceptance. I stop myself and wonder how long it has been since I've doubled over in laughter on such a regular basis. When along the way did I lose my enthusiasm and the confidence I had to throw myself into artistic vulnerability? What made me think I had to smother this piece of myself when I chose my path? This passion and drive is something so comfortable and familiar though it hasn't surfaced in years. Where along the way did I lose this entire piece of myself?
My feet are black with dirt and my face is flushed with a mixture of joy and exhaustion and heat. Heart pounding, blue flags flying, tears flowing, whips lashing, eyes meeting, hearts beating. Feet kick up dust as the crowd races to escape the confusion of the handsome stranger. For God so loved and gold flashing, wings sailing, hands clapping, Him standing, dove flying. Angelic voices fill the valley with praise from the floating wings on mountain tops. Adonai.
A cacophony of rolling chairs race in rectangles as they reminisce on Juan of the moments of hilarity from that previous day. We don't know our real voices because we spend so much time creating bogus accents and ridiculous languages. Mershed peterters in berts colurmbielurmbie in the world where you can cross a bridge but you can't stand on it. Feel the gaze, cheeks flush, a smile creeps on. Waiting, wishing, watching, wanting.
Shouting, groaning, screaming escalating into the most welcoming comfortable sound. Fists fly into faces, knees into stomachs; bodies fall to the ground with ferocious eyes full of the love language called creativity. Their brown eyes meet sparkling with adrenaline and anticipation: the tension rises. Suddenly their barriers are down, his hands in her hair, writhing and stumbling and sweating. Violent intimacy. She is dragged across the floor and thrown against the wall with a sickening crack from her spine. Elation.
Life changing universe. Deeply familiar emotions from a previous life. Walk away or embrace the change?
Cairo: You always have a smooth explanation
Spade: What do you want me to do, learn to stutter?
So much fear. I am anxious, I am nervous, I am horrendously exhilarated. Stepping into freedom; let's grow and learn and never forget.
Here's to plain speaking and clear understanding.